Dear Father God.....

Thank you for this day that thee Lord hath made.

Let us be glad and rejoice in it.

Thank you dear Lord that you have NOT blessed me with a wife.

I woke up free this morning with no bondage of being stuck with a woman and all kinds of devious plans to get rid of her like Scott Peterson did with Laci Peterson >>> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Laci_Peterson and their unborn son Conner.

Thank you Lord for having that Christian girl neighbor be lonely and instead of her seeking to be faithfully celibate and trust upon the Lord for all of her needs and desires, she chose to worship the phallic sword of ME and is basking in the joy of sin and geysers of hot cum into her spiritually awaiting mouth.

Thank you Lord that you allowed for the skinnier and prettier Christian neighbor to give me blow jobs and not the fatter and more homely looking Christian neighbor.  Please Lord, keep the fat ones for you.  The lonely skinny and pretty ones I will gladly help as they enjoy guilt induced sex with ME.  Thank you Jesus!

Thank you Lord that you have not put with in me the supreme great love of money.  I have no need to create a Ponzi scheme like Scott Rothstein >>> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_W._Rothstein and Bernard Madoff did.>>> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Madoff  Two men already millionaires in their own right, a financial man and an attorney, but the love of money and the greed for it caused them to rip off people via taking their money in fake investment schemes.

Thank you Lord that my life may be simple and kinda poor in vast sums of money, but it's rich is sexual immorality and thee freedom to have strange and pretty women give me blow jobs.  I am glad and I rejoice in it.

Thank you Lord on this beautiful Sunday morning that I am able to spend time with you.  When two or more are gathered in Jesus' name, church is happening.  Father Son and Holy Spirit amen and amen!

Thank you Lord that skinny and pretty blonde who was pervertedly gonna take a happy shit on me, you did not have her take a laxative prior to her shitting on me.

<<< part solid - part liquid

When your daughters shit on me, it is soooo much better when their shit offering blessings come in log form as opposed to dark milk shake form.

Although, I am grateful for solidified blessings from above, or in this case from your daughters assholes, no matter what form they come in.  Please though Lord, solidified shit offerings are so much nicer than milk shake shit offerings.  Praise be to thee glory of God!

Thank you Lord that the seas don't rise up and wash away all of the land that us Floridian people inhabit.  I mean, we are only 7' feet above sea level (or some thing like that).  You Lord have the power to raise the oceans and have us wash away.  On this Sunday morning I am grateful you have not yet done that.  Thank you Jesus! 

Thank you Lord for the vast selection of escorts in south Florida.  Just like ordering a pizza, Man can choose his escort woman.  A skinny one, a blonde one, large breasts, pea pod breasts, model feet or only 3 toes on one foot and 5 toes on the other.  Soooo many escort choices.......  Thank you Jesus!

I'd write more Lord, but I wanna go and appreciate your day.  Thank you for the freedom of allowing me and other fortunate parishioners to do just that.

Your faithful, appreciative and loyal son,

Psychedelic

ps:  Thanks again for blessing me with NO wife!  :)