POUND THE ROUND 6 — “There’s more to women than plump cheeks; they make wonderful cooks.”

POUND THE ROUND 6



New Sensations



Directed by Mike Adriano



WHORES

Sadie West, Bridgette B., Capri Cavalli, Gracie Glam, Katie St. Ives, Angeline Ash



I’m an ass man. Like, a hundred and ten percent, or more, if that’s possible. In fact, let’s just go ahead and say that I’m 200% an ass man, meaning that I would give up the opportunity to get busy with any other body part twice in exchange for getting down and dirty with a rockin' rump once.



Further, I am in no way worried about this facet of my personality or what it might say about the way I see women. Brian Bangs, in his recent article on this subject, suggests that coming out and declaring yourself an ass man (or a tit or leg man, presumably) is tantamount to declaring that you think there is nothing else of value to the fairer sex. Mr. Bangs, of course, is not alone in this idea; it is a popular one that we could trace back through the various incarnations of feminist philosophy. Brian’s fear of limiting himself, of falling back into demonstrably prejudiced patriarchal modes of thought, derives from the same theories that tell us that advertisements featuring pictures of models from the neck up are anti-feminist in their symbolic decapitation, their division of the threatening female form into small, easily handled pieces. But Brian and his girl power pals overstate the danger here; it’s possible to love pieces of women without losing your appreciation for the whole package. I mean, I’m an ass man, and I know that there’s more to women than just their plump, delicious cheeks; they also make wonderful cooks. And they can clean, too!



Now that you’ve got some insight into the philosophic underpinnings of my gluteal obsession you will understand how excited I was about the DVD I found waiting for me on the Ribald Review desk this week: Mike Adriano’s Pound the Round P.O.V. #6 from New Sensations. Three and a half hours of big bubble butts being used and objectified? Sign me up! It’s been almost a month since the last Big Wet Asses came out and I’m jonesin through my underpants over here for someone to film a slag from behind while rearranging the junk in her trunk.



(Seriously though, all feminist baiting aside, it’s a great day when I know I’m in for a glimpse of my favorite female body part, lovingly illuminated, lubricated, and brought to my living room in blisteringly realistic HD video. It would be a better day, of course, if there was ass in my living room in blisteringly realistic, well, reality, but I’ll take what I can get. We should all remember that we’re blessed there are women in the world as happy to show off their bodies as we are to see them.)



Anyway, I was excited. And I wasn’t disappointed. The asses, err, women, in PtR P.O.V. #6 are all smoking hot, especially cover girl Sadie West's. She’s got an awesome rear end, and possibly the cutest, tiniest pussy I’ve ever seen. Seriously, the whole thing, lips and all, is the size of like a quarter. It doesn’t look like you’d be able to get a pinky in there, but somehow Adriano managed to stuff his entire veiny, bulbous self inside. And she fingers her own asshole, which is just unutterably sexy. The movie should have started with Sadie’s scene, actually, because I find huge fake tits to be something of a turn off, and the star of the first scene, Bridgette B., is something like ninety percent bosom by weight. On the other hand, Bridgette rocks a hardcore all anal fuckathon, which, as an ass man, left me drained and helpless on the floor, so I probably shouldn’t complain.



(Speaking of complaining, does anyone want to engage in a little consumer advocacy with me? There’s a fifteen second clip of Katie St. Ives in this movie (starting at approximately 11:16:40) that I really want Digital Sin to release as a screen saver. Topless jumprope. 'Nough said.)

—Maxxx Peters