THE BREAKFAST CLUB XXX — “The cheesiness is well executed.”

Joining the WHACK! Magazine staph as a contributing writer this week is newcummer Victor Collins, a pervert extraordinaire from the deepest, dirtiest dungeons of Mount Vernon, NY. And we ALL know what goes on in Mount Vernon...



THE BREAKFAST CLUB: A XXX PARODY



New Sensations



WHORES

Faye Reagan, Andy San Dimas, Samantha Ryan, Syren Sexton, Brooke Van Bouren, Tessa Taylor, Breanne Benson, Levi Cash, Sonny Hicks, Chad Alva.



In a time where production value seems a thing of the past, New Sensations's approach to parodies is somewhat unexpected. In The Breakfast Club XXX, the costumes and sets are noticeably meticulous, and the stars closely resemble the actors in the original movie.



I wonder whether director Lee Roy Myers is in the right business. The Breakfast Club XXX features comedy scenes as long as the actual sex scenes. The traditional approach to porn parodies as I know them has been minimal effort toward accuracy or quality in the brief comedy interludes, with most of the focus on the stroke scenes. At times, this film appears more interested in the comedy than the erotica, which is all well and good if you're not in it to jizz it. I, however, being an avid fapper and fan of all things splooge, was a bit disappointed to sit through plot development and dialogue.



The action, like in the original, takes place in the library on a Saturday morning, only this time they're college students, somehow convinced to stay in detention as if they were still in high school. I suppose this switch in the plot was to avoid being accused of portraying minors. We all know, of course, how strong a stand the porn industry continuously takes against the idea of encouraging sex with underage girls. Fans of the original movie that happen to be porn lovers will perhaps get the most enjoyment out of this.



In juggling the porn and the comedy, both suffer in certain aspects. Although the film has a great look, the comedy scenes don't exactly take you to a time and place that equals the original 1980s Midwest setting. Dialogue includes phrases and sayings that were not in use at the time of the original movie, although the cheesiness is well executed. The film has some great looking stars, and there are

some great closeups. However, the positions and angles are limited, and at times the shots look crowded, with several body parts obstructing the view. This is most evident in a scene including three girls on one guy.



It was an impressive effort balancing porn and comedy, although I do not foresee most viewers appreciating the extensive comedy scenes. The non-sex scenes have typically been of secondary interest to the viewer, so I'm unclear why so much effort was put forth in this direction. Perhaps Lee Roy Myers, director and co-writer, has a similar dream as Burt Reynold's Jack Horner character in

Boogie Nights. That dream is for the viewer to stay and finish watching the movie after it's masturbatory uses have been exhausted. In both cases, it looks a pipe dream.



--Victor Collins