THE SCREAMING O — “It was like having sex with a giant, penis shaped vibrator.”

I don’t wanna brag or anything, but let’s just say that Little Miss Lagsalot here has never had much of a problem that a cock ring would fix. …get it? I mean I’m such a hot piece of ass I’ve never had a problem keeping a man hard. Cause I’m awesome in the sack. Fuck yeah.

But I had a point in here somewhere… Oh, right. Despite my pussy prowess, there have occasionally been times when my awesomeness has backfired on me, and a guy has gotten so excited by my sexcellent skillz that he’s blown his load too soon for little old me to get off properly. And Miss Lagsalot doesn’t like that one little bit.

So when I came across the Screaming O vibrating cock ring, I thought, well why not? Could keep things going a little longer, and the vibrator should help me get things going faster, so it’s a win-win. Problem with the Screaming O is that it comes in a small pouch that’s quite easily lost in the mess of sex toys I keep by the bed. I threw it in there and forgot about it for months.

But just the other day I was digging around for a fun toy to try, and lo and behold, there was the Screaming O, unused and sad, in the bottom of my toy box. I grabbed it, called up a good fuck buddy, and proceeded to “product test” it out. For a while. On the couch and the floor and some pillows. …and you are so not getting any more details!

BUT. The Screaming O was really, really fun. I don’t know how they engineered it, but somehow the tiny, quite powerful little vibrator attached to the jelly-style, not-particularly-tight cock ring actually turns the guy’s entire cock into a living vibrator. I swear it was like having sex with a giant, penis shaped vibrator attached to a human being. In other words, really, reeeeally fun. I can’t speak for my partner, but the vibrations I was getting from his anatomy were powerful enough to get me going, so although vibrations don’t do the same thing for men as they do for women, I can’t imagine he wasn’t enjoying the pulsing buzz as it travelled down his dick. Not to mention the look he must have enjoyed seeing on my face every time he went in deep and tickled my touchy spot with the vibrator head-on.

I feel like there aren’t any very good good, or even funny-enough, euphemisms to describe the intricacies of the Screaming O experience, but let’s leave it at this: the name of the device is entirely accurate. It’s easy to use, fun for both parties, and it’s only $5.99. Excuses for not buying one are nonexistent — even in a recession, the Screaming O will get your rocks off. —Miss Lagsalot